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Entry tags:	my-fics, one-shots

[NOVELLA] Only One Chance (NC-17) - Sequel to 'No Chances'

Title: Only One Chance
Author: lanisfanfiction (aka Lani)
RATING: NC-17
SUMMARY: [Sequel to ‘No Chances’] When Harry decides to return to the wizarding world, Draco is right there beside him. Soon, however, Draco is forced into the most difficult and heart-wrenching situation he will ever have to face in his life…
WARNINGS: Adult language, sexual content, hurt/comfort, angst, mentions of sexual assault
WORDS: 25,620
Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six



CURRENTLY UNBETA’D

Many thanks to CeeCee for reading over this and offering her thoughts and advise along the way!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. JKR owns everything.

* * * * *
PART ONE

Harry looked up from his cornflakes at the feeling of Draco watching him. Draco was munching quietly on his toast, gazing pensively at Harry. “What?” Harry asked, feeling self-conscious.

“Nothing,” Draco said and took a small sip of his coffee. “Just thinking.”

They had been together almost two months now. At first, they had found it difficult to spend time together because Draco kept weird hours at work. Harry had finally overcome his insecurities that he was going to be hurt again and suggested they spend interchangeable weeks at each other’s homes. One week at Harry’s, and then the following week at Draco’s. It had worked initially, until they began tripping over each other in Draco’s tiny flat and ending up in arguments about the smallest things. Draco had now been staying at Harry’s place for over two weeks continuously, only returning home to pick up clothes every now and again.

“What?” Harry prodded again.

“It doesn’t matter,” Draco stated through a yawn.

“I told you I wasn’t bothered when you fell asleep yesterday afternoon,” Harry said with amusement, spooning some cereal into his mouth.

“You might not care, but I do! I practically passed out during foreplay! Me! It’s fucking embarrassing,” Draco mumbled. “And that’s not what I was thinking about, anyway.”

“You were bloody exhausted. Thirteen hours you were at work the previous night! Ten at night until eleven the following morning. I know for a fact you only had a fifteen minute break as well because your clerk told me when I called for you. You didn’t just fall asleep during foreplay; you also fell asleep on the toilet. I thought you’d gone in there and died or something! Do you know how hard it was to not laugh when I found you on the pot with your pants down around your ankles fast asleep?” Harry laughed.

Draco just shot him a sheepish look. “It’s not the first time I’ve done that. It was the first time I had someone there to wake me up and put me back to bed though.” He reached over and took Harry’s hand.

“The whole while protesting that you still ‘wanted a shag’,” Harry said with a smirk. “You were so adorable all sleepy and floppy.”

Draco’s mouth dropped open. “Adorable? Sleepy and floppy? I fell asleep on the john and you think it’s adorable? I don’t get this boyfriend stuff sometimes.”

Harry cocked and eyebrow. “Says the bloke who thought I was gorgeous hurling my guts up,” he said lightly.

“You remember that?” Draco asked in surprise.

“Not clearly, but that’s one of the things I remember you saying that night and I hardly think its something I would imagine!” Harry replied.

“I like taking care of you,” Draco said with a shrug. “Which is why I’m going to ask you to move in with me…”

“Into your apartment?” Harry scoffed. “Draco, we didn’t speak to each other for three hours after arguing over whose razor was who’s.”

Draco smirked when he remember the explosive argument. They had both been tired. He had been in a bad mood after a stressful day at work, and Harry had been irritable due to nicotine withdrawal. It was during the awkward new-relationship phase, and they had still been getting to know each other and learning to be around each other for more than just dates. “I just want us to live together, Harry. I don’t particularly care where. I think we’re ready for this. I practically live here now anyway.”

“You would give up your expensive and trendy apartment for us to get a place together?” Harry asked, not really sure what to think of Draco’s proposition. Draco nodded. “Why can’t you just move in here?”

Draco sighed. “I can’t live entirely in the Muggle word, Harry. I rely extensively on magic for my job, and to be honest, I’m not as strong as you. I don’t want to give up magic. It’s just simply not an option for me.”

Harry pursed his lips and pushed the remainder of his breakfast away. “I was wondering when this was going to come up again,” he said. “Why don’t you just call Hermione and Ginny as backup and all gang up on me?”

“Don’t get shitty, love,” Draco tried to placate him. “We need to discuss this. Our relationship is growing stronger by the day. It was inevitably going to come up. I know your feelings about it, but I also need you to give a little if this is going to keep working. It would mean a lot to me if you would just give a bit of thought to coming back to our world. I want to be with you for a long time, Harry, but it’s going to be really hard on both of us if you can’t accept magic again.”

Harry shook his head. “I have in no way tried to stop you using magic here! Hell, I’ve even let you ply me with potions on more than one occasion. You act like I’m a completely self-centred arsehole when it comes to this! Don’t you think I haven’t given this extensive thought? I don’t see why we can’t still keep working fine with you doing your thing with magic, and me doing mine the Muggle way.”

“Because I want us to be like a normal couple! Socialise with our friends and family! We can’t do that because you won’t go near my friends or family because they’re all magical! I just… I… oh, what the fuck does it matter?!” Draco pushed out of his chair and stood up. “I’ve been working all night. I’m too tired to get into anything with you. I’m really trying here! I just don’t know what more I can do!” He ran his hand through his hair and shot Harry a wounded look before heading in the direction of Harry’s bedroom.

* * * * *

Harry managed to get three articles written that morning, so he was feeling very satisfied with himself, considering that Draco’s words over breakfast kept creeping into his mind and halting his train of thought.

It was now nearing three in the afternoon, and Harry padded quietly into his darkened bedroom. Draco was curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed, still fast asleep amongst the thick quilt. Harry always missed Draco when he worked nightshift. His boyfriend was absent all night, and then slept most of the next day. It amused Harry how much he had become accustomed to Draco’s presence, despite their rocky start. They had so much chemistry between them, which is probably why they had fought so ferociously back in Hogwarts.

Harry slipped off his shirt, slid into the bed, and spooned up behind Draco, nuzzling into the warmth of Draco’s back. This was a regular thing Harry indulged in. He let Draco get a good amount of sleep throughout the day before joining him for snuggling in the afternoon, which more often than not led to sex of some sort. “Mmm, waz’ wonderin’ when you’d come…” Draco mumbled quietly, melting into Harry’s arms and falling back to sleep with a small sigh, leaving Harry with his thoughts once again.

Would it really be so bad to move in with Draco and go back to the wizarding world? Surely it wouldn’t be so difficult? What was stopping him, really? He’d always sworn that he wouldn’t return, but that was before Draco came into his life. Draco would be there with him, and he had a sense of being able to take on the world when Draco was in his arms.

It was over five years. Most would likely be over the whole Boy Who Lived thing, wouldn’t they? Would it really be so traumatic to face his demons and go get his wand out of Gringotts, just to see how it felt in his hand again?

Harry felt his stomach roil so dramatically, that he sat up and slapped a hand over his mouth. The sudden nausea took him off guard and he clutched his stomach with a whimper. “Harry? What’s the matter?” Draco croaked, sitting up next to Harry and gazing in concern at his boyfriend through puffy, sleepy eyes.

“I think I’m going to hurl,” Harry coughed.

“Oh, shit,” Draco said worriedly. “Here, let me help you to the toilet.” He scrambled out of the bed, but Harry shook his head.

“No, I think I’m okay. It’s passing,” Harry muttered, swallowing heavily.

Draco stroked his hair and patted his back. “Are you sure? You’re all flushed. When did it come on? Do you want me to get you anything? Here, lie down.” He tugged the covers down and Harry gratefully sunk back into them. Draco sat crossed-legged next to him and stroked his stomach. “All right now?”

“Um, yeah,” Harry replied feebly. “I… sorry I woke you.”

“Shush, I’ve told you before to wake me if you ever need me. Tell me when you started feeling sick,” Draco ordered.

“I didn’t really. It was just now…” Harry said evasively, trying to avoid Draco’s piercing gaze.

“Well, did you eat something off at lunch? Maybe you caught a bug from work? Muggle bugs can be hard to Heal sometimes. You don’t feel feverish, though,” Draco fussed, tucking the covers more snugly around Harry’s chest.

“Draco, stop,” Harry said, taking Draco’s hand. “I started thinking about magic and getting my wand back again and I just suddenly felt like I was going to spew. I don’t know why. Nerves, probably. I just…” He stopped and sighed. “Can we snuggle and talk for a bit? I need to talk.”

“Okay, but can I piss first?” Draco asked quickly. “I’ll only be a sec! I promise!”

Harry tried to stifle a grin. “You’re asking me if you can take a piss?”

“Well, no,” Draco replied. “You want to talk, and I don’t want you to go back into your shell and put your barriers up again if I go away for a few minutes.”

“I promise I won’t,” Harry laughed.

“Are you sure? Because I can wait,” Draco offered and Harry shook his head.

“You won’t be able to concentrate on anything I’m saying with this.” Harry traced a finger up Draco’s ‘morning’ erection caused by his need for the toilet. Draco sucked in a breath and his eyes fluttered closed. “I promise you a lovely shag after, okay? I just need to get some things off my mind.”

Draco’s eyes popped open and he nodded reluctantly. “Deal. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He leant over and gave Harry a brief kiss before sauntering off to the bathroom.

Harry smiled. Things really were going great with Draco. He realised that he did want to move in with him, and soon. If only he could get over his fear of returning to the wizarding world...

A few moments later, Harry heard Draco’s pager buzzing in his jacket pocket, which was hanging on the back of the door. He groaned and dragged himself out of bed, hoping Draco wasn’t being called to work. He grabbed the pager just as it buzzed again and he peered at the screen.

Hey, hot stuff. Time flies. 9pm Barnton Hotel. My arse is yours. Quentin xxx. Harry growled, and quickly flicked to the second page. On second thoughts, we’ll make it your place. That sofa of yours has good leverage. Q x.

“What the fuck?!” Harry hissed as he threw the pager on the bed angrily, feeling his face flush as he gripped the bedpost. He tried to calm himself by taking some deep breaths, but one stray glance at the pager sent fury shooting through him. He rifled around in his underwear draw for a stray packet of cigarettes he’d had difficulty getting rid of and stalked out onto his balcony, slamming the door shut with a loud bang. He shoved a smoke into his mouth and fumbled to light it. He smacked the lighter and packet on the picnic table with a sneer as he took a long drag of the cigarette.

Harry was onto his second smoke and fuming inwardly by the time he heard Draco calling out for him. “Harry?” Draco opened the door and stepped out. “Why are you fucking smoking? You promised me you had given up!”

“I lied. Much like someone else I know,” Harry spat.

“What’s wrong? Why are you so angry?” Draco asked worriedly. Harry’s whole demeanour was stiff and icy.

“How long have we been together, Draco?” Harry seethed.

“Two months,” Draco replied in confusion. Harry knew that. Why the fuck was he asking such a ridiculous question. A mere ten minutes before he had been talking about shagging!

“Who’s Quentin?”

Draco gasped. “What?” he asked, feeling a slight sweat break out over his body.

“You fucking heard me!” Harry cried. “Who the fuck is he?!”

“He’s someone I –”

Harry stubbed his smoke out on the ledge and flicked the butt away before he slapped his hands over his ears. “Don’t! Shut up! I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to hear about anything you did with any of those arseholes!”

“How do you know about Quentin?” Draco asked helplessly, trying to fight the feeling that the floor had been ripped out from under him.

“You fucking lied to me, Draco! You told me over and over that your personal and professional lives were separate!” Harry screamed.

“They are!” Draco argued. He was starting to get upset. What the hell had happened in the five minutes he’d been in the toilet?!

“THEN WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR WHORES DOING PAGING YOU ON YOUR WORK PAGER, DRACO?!” Harry roared, grabbing one of his picnic chairs and knocking it flying in anger.

Draco stepped back in shock. “Oh shit,” he murmured, clutching the door frame to steady himself.

Harry stopped his tirade and swooped on Draco immediately, grabbing him before he fell. “What the hell? What’s going on, Draco?! Tell me!”

“How did he get my work pager?” Draco asked desperately. “How could he have possibly gotten hold of that?! It’s supposed to be confidential! What am I going to do?!”

“Who is this Quentin?” Harry demanded. “No bullshitting, Draco!”

“We used to fuck casually. Very casually,” Draco started shakily. “He… he was the son of one of my father’s business associates. One… one night, things got out of hand. He was being really sleazy and making me feel uncomfortable, which was a foreign feeling for me. Something in me snapped. I didn’t want to fuck him and I rejected his advances. I told him I didn’t want to see him anymore. He got the shits, and tried to do it anyway…”

“He raped you?!” Harry gasped.

“No, not quite,” Draco said tearfully. “He slapped me, and kneed me in the stomach, trying to get my clothes off in the process. I didn’t have my wand in reaching distance, so I tried to fight him off at first. He managed to tear my pants off and he got his fingers in my arse. I don’t really remember exactly what happened, but I eventually got to my wand and hexed him. He took the hint and I never heard from him again…I thought it was over! How did he get my number, Harry?” Some tears spilled down his cheeks.

“Oh hell, love, I don’t know, but we’ll find out, okay?” Harry cradled Draco to his chest, murmuring soothing noises into his hair. His heart was breaking at the sight of Draco like this. The only other time he’d seen Draco so vulnerable was that time in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom back in their sixth year. He felt horribly guilty about jumping to conclusions, but those pages had such a tone of familiarity that Harry just assumed Draco was…

He shook himself slightly and led Draco back into the bedroom where they sat on the edge of the bed together. Harry grabbed the box of tissues and pressed some into Draco’s hand. “Why didn’t you tell me you’d been assaulted?”

“It was so long ago,” Draco hiccupped, wiping his eyes. “It must be over two years now. It never crossed my mind to tell you. I’d gotten over it mostly. I’ve not thought about it since I’ve been with you.”

“Did you report it?” Harry asked, still hugging Draco protectively.

“No,” Draco whispered. “People wouldn’t give a shit. They wouldn’t believe someone like me had been nearly raped. They’d just think I was asking for it.”

Harry frowned. “Someone like you?”

“A slut, Harry,” Draco said sadly. “Besides, his father was a high up Ministry official. No one was going to believe that his son, who was generally known as an all-round good guy, had tried to rape up-and-coming Healer and Death Eater’s son, Draco Malfoy.”

“Did you tell anyone?” Harry asked incredulously. He couldn’t believe Draco had gone through something like this. Despite his past activities, it made Harry sick to think someone had done this to his boyfriend.

“I told my Mum,” Draco replied. “I haven’t told you much about my Mum, but I would love for you to meet her one day, Harry. Anyway, she was horrified. She called our family Healer in to examine me and told my work I’d taken ill and wouldn’t be in for at least two weeks. It took me nearly that long to start to get over it. I spent the whole first week in bed. I only left to use the toilet. I didn’t eat. I didn’t even shower or change my pyjamas, Harry.”

“How did you even start to heal after it?” Harry wondered, shaking his head in disbelief. If the same thing had happened to him, he didn’t think he would ever get over it. Suddenly the issue with his ex seemed completely insignificant in the light of what Draco had gone through.

“My mother and Severus helped me a lot. You know he was a close family friend, but he’s more like an uncle and mentor to me. I trust him implicitly,” Draco explained. “Once I got out of my funk, I spoke to them both about it. My Mum is probably the only person on the face of the earth who knows every single thing about me and that’s not something I would change in a hurry.”

“How…” Harry started to ask but trailed off, looking down at his lap in shame.

“What?” Draco asked.

“It’s nothing,” Harry said dismissively.

Draco sighed. “I’ve told you before I can’t read your mind, love. Ask me whatever you’re thinking. It can’t possibly offend me. We went into this with you thinking I was a whore. I can handle that, Harry. But I don’t think I could handle you thinking similar things about me now, because I’ve tried my hardest to change for you.”

“I know,” Harry said quietly. “And it means the world to me. I just… want to know why nearly being raped didn’t stop you…”

“Fucking anything with two legs and a dick?” Draco supplied dryly and Harry nodded.

“Basically, yeah,” Harry replied. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s a valid question and one my mother actually posed to me, though in a much more subtle way,” Draco assured him and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly as he contemplated his answer. “I guess I just didn’t want to be brought down. Like I said, I love sex, you know that.” Harry smiled at him and nodded. “I just didn’t want him to get the better of me. I’ve always had mounds of self-confidence. I wasn’t going to let him take that away from me.”

“Weren’t you frightened it would happen again?”

“Deep down I suppose I was,” Draco admitted. “It’s probably a lot of why I demanded control in any sexual situation I was in. Like I said, I only ever bottomed for one person, but after the whole Quentin thing,” his voice shook slightly when he said the name, “it was essential I had control of every situation.”

“Who did you bottom for?” Harry asked tentatively. “You don’t have to say. It doesn’t matter. I’m just curious.” Draco scratched his head, pulled a strange face, and then looked away. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“I want to. I’m just not sure how you will take it,” Draco mumbled.

“… it wasn’t a teacher was it?” Harry said, feeling himself shudder at the thought.

“Fuck no, Harry,” Draco snorted. “Merlin.”

“Sorry, I just had to ask!” Harry said with a laugh. “Did you have a relationship with this person?”

Draco shook his head. “I meant it when I said I hadn’t been in a relationship before. It was sex a couple of times with him and that’s it. He um, had to go home…”

“It wasn’t Viktor Krum was it?” Harry asked quickly. “You were chummy with him during the Triwizard Tournament.”

Draco sniggered and turned to shoot Harry an amused grin. “No, love. There was only one Seeker whose broom I wanted to ride.”

Harry gave him a fond squeeze. “Thank you for the ego stroking,” he chuckled.

“Charlie Weasley,” Draco stated abruptly. “The beginning of Seventh Year. He was staying at Hogwarts briefly when they had that dragon for Care of Magical Creatures, remember?”

“Oh, I… ah… really?” Harry asked curiously. “What was it like? He’s a… er… big lad. I kind of walked in on him in the shower once at The Burrow. Very impressive.”

Draco burst out laughing. “I thought you would be weird with it. Him being your best mate’s big brother and all.”

“Of course not. I’m actually quite happy to hear it was someone as nice as Charlie,” Harry admitted. “I’m sure he was… um…”

“He was very good to me, Harry, I promise you,” Draco said.

“How did it, sort of, you know,” Harry gestured with his hands, “eventuate?”

Draco smirked. “You’re a curious bugger, aren’t you?” He poked Harry playfully in the stomach. “He came across me sulking by the lake one day. I had gotten an Owl from father with Voldemort related issues and I was pretty upset, but hiding it under my usual arrogant bastard façade. Charlie saw right through it and basically demanded I confide in him. I told him to fuck off, but he just sat down and told me to fuck off if I didn’t want his company. He also made some comment along the lines of just because I had blond hair like my father, didn’t me I had to be an evil shit. I was intrigued and ended up confiding in him. It just went from there. It was actually him who told me to sit tight if I wanted you; that it would happen if it was meant to be…”

“So you ‘sat tight’ for five or six years?” Harry asked in amusement.

“Yeah,” Draco replied with a shrug. “It was worth the wait.”

Harry smiled, feeling very much flattered by Draco’s statement. “So, he was your first casual fuck, so to speak?” Harry mused.

“Yeah, I guess,” Draco laughed. “Listen to us. You were the one wanting to talk to me, but we’ve ended up speaking all about my issues.”

Harry kissed Draco’s temple. “It doesn’t matter. We’re talking. I’m really glad you told me all this.” Draco sighed, falling silent. “You should get Fred Weasley to look into that Quentin wanker for you. He’s on the Magical Law Enforcements Squad now. I’m sure he’d be happy to help you.”

Draco hunched over again. “I wish I didn’t have to. I’ve put it all past me. But, I’m really worried about him having my pager number, Harry. What else does he know about me? I haven’t been staying at home, so I don’t have the protection of the Fidelius.”

“Try not to worry too much. Owl Fred. He’ll help you,” Harry insisted and Draco nodded reluctantly, shifting to lie back on the bed and urging Harry to join him.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“You haven’t really been smoking behind my back, have you?” Draco asked, his tone suspicious.

Harry snorted. “Pfft, no. You’d smell it and taste it on me. You used to even be able to smell it on me when I’d drown myself on cologne. That’s the first one I’ve touched since you flushed my pack down the toilet a week after we started dating.”

“You just happened to have some lying around, did you?” Draco asked, amused.

“Sort of,” Harry admitted feebly. “I kept some in my underwear drawer just in case. It was just a security thing. I only ever really smoked when I was stressed, anyway.”

“Well, as long as you haven’t been sucking on them, I don’t care where you keep them,” Draco replied. “I so cannot handle you going through fag withdrawal again. You were an irritable bitch.”

“Why thank you,” Harry laughed. “Can I suck on you instead?”

“Anytime,” Draco murmured. They laid in each other arms for a few silent moments before Harry started shifting restlessly. “Bloody hell, Harry! What is bothering you? I was just starting to get comfortable. Stop wriggling,” Draco complained, trying to get Harry to lie still.

“I want to move back to the wizarding world with you!” Harry blurted out, causing Draco jump slightly.

“Why the change of heart, love? You almost vomited at the thought of getting your wand back. I know what I said this morning, but I’m not so sure you’re ready for this. I think you need to do a lot more thinking,” Draco told him.

“I have thought about it. Too much. I think it’s time I grew up and stopped hiding,” Harry murmured. “I think I can do this now. With you.”

“Do you want do it, Harry, or are you just agreeing to this because of what I’ve just told you?” Draco pressed, turning Harry’s head towards him.

“I’m not sure at the moment. I know you always thought it was just a matter of me not wanting to go back, but it’s more than that…” Harry said honestly.

“In what way?”

“I’m scared, Draco. Really scared to go back,” Harry murmured. “There. I finally admitted it to you…”

Draco rolled onto his side, propping his head up on his hand. “Harry, I knew you were scared, love. I didn’t need you to tell me that. One does not almost vomit just from a dislike of something. You’re shit scared to go back. I understand that. But I don’t think you’re doing yourself any favours not facing your fears. I will be there for you if you choose to do that.”

“I want to try. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it when it comes to the crunch, but I really want to try. I just need you to stick with me on this. Is that enough for now?” Harry pleaded.

Draco studied him closely for a few moments and then nodded. “Okay.”

* * * * *

On to PART TWO...